going town later to meet elaine n beat. 7pm..
so sad now.. suddenly thought of him again. was doing a shopping list for my hk trip, for my frens if i happen to find something. if i dun, im sorry ppl.. coz im not changing any currency. will be using my parents' money. if they give me a sum, i'll surely find stuff for u guys yea. esp. clothes.
well, back to him, well, was looking at this person's blog where i always go to view his photos. well, saw her blog that he had a chalet on his bday. n suddenly it occured to me that he wasnt in the shopping list i did for my frens. felt so sad. emotions building up. what happened to that past feelings i had for him. that very very strong feelings i had that lasted for almost 3yrs. 3yrs of waiting n giving in.. worse, im listening to BAD n David Tao's songs.. drama rama.. oh man.. havent seen him in sch for wks. i missed him. but i guess its just a normal routine that ive had for the past 3yrs in sch. always wanting to see him, wanting to know his timetable, etc.. was it really love? was there really love throughout the whole 2+yrs or was it just a routine? why cant i just simply give him up TOTALLY? man, i love u so much that i cant give u up. y do u hold such a big part in my life? u're the first guy i really loved so much. despite my frens telling me stuff bout u, to make me forget u, i just cant. i always dream about being with u, it was so real, but there's always tears when i wake up. how i wish i didnt meet u in the first place, but was that what i really wanted? im glad we can be frens. but of course i want more than that. im sure u know coz i told u. "you yuan wu fen"